On The Rauchdy Match – Midseason Report

Boys,

I write this blog for you two and as I’ve stated dozens of times in past posts, I hope that you read these someday and learn more about our family. With that said, I also post them on Facebook for our friends to read, and it seems like the posts I do about your mom’s and my annual Rauchdy Match seem to get the most traction. Said another way, the people want to know how things have gone, will go, and are going.

With that said, let’s break down the tape and look back at the last three seasons so that we might look ahead to how things might go for the pivotal fourth match later this summer.

Season One: The Genesis

• Winner: Kelly
• Final score: 41-44 (stroke play)
• MetaFore!: Mr. Brightside

Season one of the Rauchdy Match was kind of like Mr. Brightside — it was our biggest hit. While interest has grown in years since, that first match was what got us published in The Golfers Journal and got us mentioned by Bad Birdie in newsletters. Without it, we might never have known who the best golfer was in the house.

How it went down – I won the first two holes and was feeling myself. I was confident in my projection that my length was greater than the skill deficit, and that I would cruise to an easy victory. I faltered on the next few holes, and your mom took a one or two shot lead going into the ninth and final hole. I pressed, she played calmly, and she took a three shot victory into the annals of time and won the first Rauchdy Match.

Season Two: The Redemption

• Winner: Ryan
• Final score: 3&2 (match play)
• MetaFore!: The Climb

Ain’t about how fast I get there. Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side. – Miley Cyrus

It’s true that I lost the first Rauchdy Match, but what I held onto was my belief that Kelly could still be the most skilled golfer, but that if I just sharpened my sword, the distance difference would be enough to net me a victory. And that is exactly what happened.

How it went down – Similar to year one, I got off to a hot start. Kelly made a mess of the second hole, and I was two or three shots ahead going into the third hole. After a good drive and solid second shot, I stood over my ball 20 feet left of a front pin on the third hole, and proceeded to chip it in for eagle. Your mom had a birdie putt, but it slid by and she made a comfortable par. By that point, I’d sucked up every ounce of wind from her sails, and we agreed to turn the match into matchplay to make it more exciting for those who came out watching. We both played admirably, but the match wrapped up on the seventh with a clear and decisive victory for the patriarch.

The birth of the shenanigans – while I knew I’d improved as a golfer in the year between her victory and mine, I needed to put some emphasis on this year’s match. Naturally, I ordered a caddy uniform for our friend, Andrew, and surprised Kelly on the first tee when he showed up in a full white jumpsuit with “Rauch” on the back. It was no longer a 1-v-1 match, and this dynamic duo would claim a decisive victory for all mankind.

Season Three: The Judas

• Winner: Kelly
• Final score: 2&1 (match play)
• MetaFore!: Bad Blood

Year three was critical — the series was tied one to one, and we’d decided to use our handicaps to make it an even playing field instead of having Kelly come back to the blue tees and overcome the distance deficit. Andrew stayed on as my caddy, and we had a plan. We also had a larger crowd this year, and our friend Jacob acted as the starter to announce us on the first tee. Or so I thought.

I was to play first since my tee was behind hers. After I was announced and nodded to the throngs of patrons, we moved up to the next tee box where Kelly was to tee off. Just after she was announced, Jacob disrobed revealing a white and pink caddy uniform complete with soft pink short shorts. What had been good-sport gamesmanship had suddenly turned to collusion and sabotage. A battle line had been drawn. Et tu, Brute?

How it went down – details of the gameplay escape me, but I’ll admit I was focused too much on the optics of what the event was turning into, and my head was taken out of the game enough to play less than how I expected. What I do remember was Kelly had a lead for most of the match, and I needed to make a 20 foot putt on the seventh hole to stay in the match. Once it slid by the hole, victory was secured for a second time by Kelly, and the celebration spilled into the night as players and patrons alike celebrated at Judas’ Jacob’s house that evening. Drunk on power and claiming responsibility for the win, Jacob made some poor pizza selections (failing to order any cheese pizza, and opting for olive-covered veggie pizza for the non-meat eaters) to everyone’s shagrin, but recovered by hailing the first two-time winner of the Rauchdy Match on her much deserved victory.

Season Four: The Tipping Point

• Winner: TBD
• Final score: TBD
• MetaFore!: TBD

Season four is a bit of a tipping point year. If Kelly wins, she’ll have a commanding lead in the all-time series and will have a strong claim for GOAT status. If I win, the series will be even and I’ll have the momentum heading into next year. At this point, I believe we’ve exhausted all the surprises and shenanigans — I did contact someone about creating a aerial banner and flying it over the golf course for a few hours, but ultimately decided against that. Beyond that, I don’t think either of us will win or lose based on any hijinks or trickery.

I think what it will come down to this year is what will unfold on the golf course. My game is in a decent place and I expect it to get better as the season plays out so that come September, I’ll be as ready as I can be. I know Kelly is also dedicating this year to improving her game and not just relying on her ability. So I do anticipate this to be a close match with good golf being played.

But there is always the known unknowns — you don’t know what you don’t know, right? And if there is an edge to be had, I will turn over every stone to find it. American History X taught me that it’s always good to end something like this with a quote because “someone else has already said it best.” So with that in mind, I’d like to quote Mr. Young Jeezy…

Them other golfas fake and flaunting, that’s where it’s at. Real golfas do real things, let’s drink to that. Cause even in the dark, baby I’mma shine bright. — Jeezy (with creative interpretation by yours truly)

Love (lol),

Dad