On Long Time No See – Don’t Hold it Against Me

Son,

I’m sorry. Due to some technical difficulties and a busy holiday season, I haven’t written to you. I’m not making excuses. If I wanted to figure it out, I would have. That’s on me. Let’s move on…

You just turned 11 months old the other day, and holy f#*%^ing moly things have changed since I’ve last written you. You’re basically walking, identifying me, your mom, your dog, your Deb, and the school buses in the neighborhood.

But before we get into things, check you out, you stud you!

ryanreags
Us being bros
reags smile
Cheesin’ for a reason
bus hunt
On the hunt for school buses

Anyone, now that we’re past the whole “four months no posts” thing, we can move forward. You are an amazing little man, Reagan James. In the past four months, you’ve visited family in Orlando and Cleveland, had your first Christmas and New Year (spoiler alert, neither you nor your parents made it till midnight), and amped up your personality tenfold. Seriously, if you took a personality test, you’d set the bar. You’re a goof ball, you love your dog, and you’re so smart.

Next big to do for you is your first birthday. Not going to ruin the surprise, but let’s just say it’s going to be one heck of a hot dog day.

hotdog

(it’s Mickey Mouse Clubhouse themed)…

Anyway, best that I wrap this up since I haven’t posted in months and the last thing I want to do is sit on this any longer before posting. The last thing I’ll say is that you’re the best little man your mom and I could possibly have in the house, you make my whole day just from the first moment I see you in the morning, and your mom and I love you so so much.

On Music, Rhythm, and your Mom’s Singing

On Music, Rhythm, and your Mom’s Singing

A yin-yang is a symbol that is shaped like a circle that is split into two parts — one side black and the other white. Within each side of the circle, there is a smaller circle of the opposite color, and it’s meant to represent the idea that there is good and bad (lightness vs. darkness) inside each of us. The idea is that nobody is 100% one thing — there is always a little bit of something else in every aspect of our lives.

Often times, a yin-yang can represent a relationship between two people. A perfect example of this can be understood with your mother and I, and our relationship toward music. You already know that I play guitar and sing.

I was never meant to give Justin Timberlake a run for his money in the talent department, but I do OK for it just being something fun that I enjoy. Your mom has rhythm. She can dance, shake her booty, and find a beat to just about any song and come up with some pretty entertaining/interesting/interesting moves.

The yin-yang of it all is that your dad can’t dance, and your mom…

bless

…can’t sing (sorry babe).

Now I can bop around with you when we’re listening to music, and your mom can surprise me sometimes by hitting some notes when she’s feeling it (aka – wine), but for the most part, we are just two opposites that kind of make a musical whole (it’s why we’re a good match).

My hope for you is that you get the best of both worlds, and are a musical triple-threat — sing/dance/play. Even if you choose not to do any of those things, I hope that you’ll find a love for music through your mom and my efforts to sing, play, and dance with you as often as we do.

Bonus points if you follow my tastes in music. Your mom and I also have a little yin-yang when it comes to musical tastes. Her side is full of Timberlake, Beyoncé, things she used to dance at the club to in her red hat, and girl-anthem songs spanning the last 30 years (Janet-Clarkson). My side is a HOF-worthy playlist of modern classics, all-time great artists, and the unsung heroes that make up the fabric of quality music. You mom appreciates a few of the things that I play, and I will grant her that Timberlake has some ability.

 

 

On Your Mother and I – Pre-Reagan

On Your Mother and I – Pre-Reagan

I  have talked a lot about your mom on here because, well, she is kind of a big deal. There are more things to say about her than I can do in any one post, so I will probably have a lot of these posts dedicated to her. This one is about how we met, and what we did in between that day and the day we had you.

It was a chilly December evening when…

Just kidding.

Early dating

Your mom and I were set up by a co-worker of mine at a job I didn’t like very much in 2011. Someone I worked with told me about a girl who worked at the Builders Exchange, to which I thought “jackpot!” I can’t remember why, but I only saw one headshot-style picture of her, saw that she was pretty (from what I could tell) and agreed to meet her.

My company was having a Christmas party, and I got her email and started talking to her to get to know her a little bit. I think my coworker invited her to the party, and I was convinced that there would be awkward exchange if we were just getting to know each other, so maybe we could get to know each other a little bit through email first, and cut down on the awkwardness.

Anyway, we emailed back and forth a bunch the week before the party, and I spent most of my work days trying to write the perfect response to her emails. We ended up having a pretty good time at the Christmas party, and decided to go out on a few more dates.

Things moved somewhat quickly between your mom and I, and we moved in together after about 6 months of dating. Her rent was up and I was house-sitting, living at your grandparents house while they lived at an apartment with your uncle Tyler and aunt Paige. She lived with me there for a few weeks while we looked for our first apartment together.

RK Vegas

Living Together

We moved to a two bedroom apartment in New Albany and learned how to live with each other. Apparently we were really good at it, because we decided not too long after to add Rogue into the mix. As much as we learned about each other when it was just the two of us, we learned a whole lot more when Rogue came along. We learned how to compromise a little bit, and what life was like when you had to account for another life all the time. We also got engaged a little while after Rogue arrived, and he helped to set up all the balloons around the apartment after I proposed.

Soon after we got Rogue, we moved to Dublin. We planned a wedding there and eventually got married (I don’t mean to blow through that part, but I’m sure there will be other posts that go into that in a little more detail). Your mom and I had fun in Dublin. We went on more walks because the sidewalks there were super wide and we could all walk next to each other. We looked at big houses that were out of our price range and talked about how we’d like to live in that house, but not that house, and when we have the money, we’ll have something like that! 

I think it’s important to look ahead like that and dream a little bit. Sometimes, we would drive around country club neighborhoods with huge houses, pick out “the one” that we want the most, and talk about what we’ll do once we live there. In the winter, we sometimes drive around those big neighborhoods and look at the Christmas lights because they always look so good (except the color lights — ask your mom about color lights when you’re older).

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Powell Peeps

After about a year and a half, we moved to Powell. We found a brewery and a restaurant we dubbed as our own, and your mom finally broke away from the corporate world and began working for herself. This, along with one last big trip, were the final hurdles we wanted to clear before we decided we were ready to bring a baby into the mix.

The last big trip came when we went to Ireland for a week in 2016. It was my #1-overall-top-bucket-list-travel-wanderlust place I’d always wanted to go, and we did. There were so many funny stories and memories made that trip! I can’t wait to go back someday with you.

Anyway, we got back, and began talking about whether we were ready for a “human puppy” as Rogue liked to say. Your mom thought she needed just one more trip, so we went to Savannah and Hilton Head for a few days. Once we got back, we were a little more sure that we were ready for a baby. Not too long after that plus 10 months, you came along and changed the game forever!

 

On Fear

Why I won’t let fear hold either of us back.

On Fear

When you are young, fear is a very real thing. Right now, you are afraid of your mother or I stepping away from you because you lose your sense of space. Your arms lock out and your eyes show genuine fear. As you grow, your fears will change into things your mind imagines, like scary things in the dark or movies about monsters.

Older still, you’ll begin to fear things like lost friendships, lack of popularity, or embarrassment in front of classmates. Then grades, girlfriends, money… If you are like your mother, you’ll be afraid of leaving your hair straightener plugged in or a candle lit, which will ultimately lead to the house burning down along with half the neighborhood.

The point is, there will be fear present in your life, in one form or another, for your entire life. It’s OK to be afraid, but the key is to not let that fear stop you from doing whatever needs to be done.

Let’s say you get a little older and have a fear of the dark — the unknown can be scary sometimes. When it’s time to go to bed, you might be afraid of things your mind might make you think is there. But you can’t let that stop you from getting a good night’s rest. That is what needs to be done, and you have to believe that you are braver/stronger/capable of defeating any monster that is dumb enough to hide in the dark in your room. Plus, you should remember that I also have special powers that can detect monsters anywhere within 100 miles from home, and if one came into your room, I would beat him up and send him back to Monsters, Inc.

Fear has a funny way of keeping people from doing things they want to do when they’re older. Grown ups get comfortable doing things that they don’t really like to do because it’s easy or they know how to do it. Just because we know how to do something, doesn’t mean we like doing it. We do something for so long, we are afraid to do something else sometimes because we have a fear that we will fail at it.

Grown ups have a great imagination when it comes to failing at things. We are afraid to exercise because we think we’ll hurt ourselves. We are afraid to leave our job because we fear that doing the thing we love to do won’t work out. We have a constant fear of not being good enough, so we continue to do the things we hate because there is comfort in complacency (that is a word that means doing boring things over and over and over again).

Here is the point of all of this. If I ask you to not be afraid of the dark, I should also ask myself to no be afraid of doing the things that scare me. Sometimes, starting something new can feel like standing at the bottom of a mountain that you need to climb. You might think that it will take forever, or that it would be easier to turn around and start your climb tomorrow/next week/ next year, but the truth is, the more you climb, the small the mountain begins to look. And before you know it, you’re at the top.

Here is my deal with you, son. If you promise to be brave whenever you are afraid, then I promise to do the same, and we both will achieve everything we set our minds to.