On Long Time No See – Don’t Hold it Against Me

Son,

I’m sorry. Due to some technical difficulties and a busy holiday season, I haven’t written to you. I’m not making excuses. If I wanted to figure it out, I would have. That’s on me. Let’s move on…

You just turned 11 months old the other day, and holy f#*%^ing moly things have changed since I’ve last written you. You’re basically walking, identifying me, your mom, your dog, your Deb, and the school buses in the neighborhood.

But before we get into things, check you out, you stud you!

ryanreags
Us being bros
reags smile
Cheesin’ for a reason
bus hunt
On the hunt for school buses

Anyone, now that we’re past the whole “four months no posts” thing, we can move forward. You are an amazing little man, Reagan James. In the past four months, you’ve visited family in Orlando and Cleveland, had your first Christmas and New Year (spoiler alert, neither you nor your parents made it till midnight), and amped up your personality tenfold. Seriously, if you took a personality test, you’d set the bar. You’re a goof ball, you love your dog, and you’re so smart.

Next big to do for you is your first birthday. Not going to ruin the surprise, but let’s just say it’s going to be one heck of a hot dog day.

hotdog

(it’s Mickey Mouse Clubhouse themed)…

Anyway, best that I wrap this up since I haven’t posted in months and the last thing I want to do is sit on this any longer before posting. The last thing I’ll say is that you’re the best little man your mom and I could possibly have in the house, you make my whole day just from the first moment I see you in the morning, and your mom and I love you so so much.

On Seven Months, Scoots, and your Favorite Things

Son,

The other day, you turned seven months old. What this means is

  • a. it’s been a few weeks since I’ve last written you (sorry)
  • 2. you have lots of new skills that I haven’t mentioned to you yet
  • d. Rogue hasn’t eaten you yet, so things are progressing nicely

You can pretty much sit up all by yourself, which is cool, and you’re eating solid foods. You’re in this “I don’t want my bottle in the afternoon” phase, which is not cool, but your mom and I are persistent and we usually get it down one way or another.

Last week, we took some family pictures in the same place we did our pregnancy announcement pictures. You did great, and the whole thing went pretty easily. We don’t have the pics yet, but I’ve seen some of the proofs and they look great.

We also took advantage of our pool for the first time this summer one day before it was set to shut down, despite the fact that it is still 90* outside — you loved it! Your mom and I figured you’d be a water baby based on how much you like taking baths (evidence below).

IMG-0295

Your mom showed me a side-byside-by-side picture of you at one month, four months, and just now seven months all in the same chair. It’s crazy how much you change. You went from this little baby to this little boy with all the personality in the world and the biggest and best cheesy smile. I’m sure you’ll be crawling and walking in no time.

The other thing we love is you cruising around in your little scooter. We’re considering changing your name to “scoots” because you are a pro in this thing. Rogue is not the biggest fan of this thing, as you have a way of bull rushing him and he doesn’t know what to do.

Other things you are into these days are:

  • not finishing your bottle
  • bouncing
  • sitting on the front porch and neighborhood watching
  • walks around the neighborhood while mom wears you
  • water – pool, bath, washing hands
  • Mickey’s Clubhouse and the Hot Diggity Dog Song

I just want to end this by saying that I love being your dad. I think you’re the coolest guy I know and I can’t wait to continue watching you grow each day, and see what the next thing you learn to do is because it’ll be just as exciting for your mom and I as it is for you!

 

On Music, Rhythm, and your Mom’s Singing

On Music, Rhythm, and your Mom’s Singing

A yin-yang is a symbol that is shaped like a circle that is split into two parts — one side black and the other white. Within each side of the circle, there is a smaller circle of the opposite color, and it’s meant to represent the idea that there is good and bad (lightness vs. darkness) inside each of us. The idea is that nobody is 100% one thing — there is always a little bit of something else in every aspect of our lives.

Often times, a yin-yang can represent a relationship between two people. A perfect example of this can be understood with your mother and I, and our relationship toward music. You already know that I play guitar and sing.

I was never meant to give Justin Timberlake a run for his money in the talent department, but I do OK for it just being something fun that I enjoy. Your mom has rhythm. She can dance, shake her booty, and find a beat to just about any song and come up with some pretty entertaining/interesting/interesting moves.

The yin-yang of it all is that your dad can’t dance, and your mom…

bless

…can’t sing (sorry babe).

Now I can bop around with you when we’re listening to music, and your mom can surprise me sometimes by hitting some notes when she’s feeling it (aka – wine), but for the most part, we are just two opposites that kind of make a musical whole (it’s why we’re a good match).

My hope for you is that you get the best of both worlds, and are a musical triple-threat — sing/dance/play. Even if you choose not to do any of those things, I hope that you’ll find a love for music through your mom and my efforts to sing, play, and dance with you as often as we do.

Bonus points if you follow my tastes in music. Your mom and I also have a little yin-yang when it comes to musical tastes. Her side is full of Timberlake, Beyoncé, things she used to dance at the club to in her red hat, and girl-anthem songs spanning the last 30 years (Janet-Clarkson). My side is a HOF-worthy playlist of modern classics, all-time great artists, and the unsung heroes that make up the fabric of quality music. You mom appreciates a few of the things that I play, and I will grant her that Timberlake has some ability.

 

 

On Fear

Why I won’t let fear hold either of us back.

On Fear

When you are young, fear is a very real thing. Right now, you are afraid of your mother or I stepping away from you because you lose your sense of space. Your arms lock out and your eyes show genuine fear. As you grow, your fears will change into things your mind imagines, like scary things in the dark or movies about monsters.

Older still, you’ll begin to fear things like lost friendships, lack of popularity, or embarrassment in front of classmates. Then grades, girlfriends, money… If you are like your mother, you’ll be afraid of leaving your hair straightener plugged in or a candle lit, which will ultimately lead to the house burning down along with half the neighborhood.

The point is, there will be fear present in your life, in one form or another, for your entire life. It’s OK to be afraid, but the key is to not let that fear stop you from doing whatever needs to be done.

Let’s say you get a little older and have a fear of the dark — the unknown can be scary sometimes. When it’s time to go to bed, you might be afraid of things your mind might make you think is there. But you can’t let that stop you from getting a good night’s rest. That is what needs to be done, and you have to believe that you are braver/stronger/capable of defeating any monster that is dumb enough to hide in the dark in your room. Plus, you should remember that I also have special powers that can detect monsters anywhere within 100 miles from home, and if one came into your room, I would beat him up and send him back to Monsters, Inc.

Fear has a funny way of keeping people from doing things they want to do when they’re older. Grown ups get comfortable doing things that they don’t really like to do because it’s easy or they know how to do it. Just because we know how to do something, doesn’t mean we like doing it. We do something for so long, we are afraid to do something else sometimes because we have a fear that we will fail at it.

Grown ups have a great imagination when it comes to failing at things. We are afraid to exercise because we think we’ll hurt ourselves. We are afraid to leave our job because we fear that doing the thing we love to do won’t work out. We have a constant fear of not being good enough, so we continue to do the things we hate because there is comfort in complacency (that is a word that means doing boring things over and over and over again).

Here is the point of all of this. If I ask you to not be afraid of the dark, I should also ask myself to no be afraid of doing the things that scare me. Sometimes, starting something new can feel like standing at the bottom of a mountain that you need to climb. You might think that it will take forever, or that it would be easier to turn around and start your climb tomorrow/next week/ next year, but the truth is, the more you climb, the small the mountain begins to look. And before you know it, you’re at the top.

Here is my deal with you, son. If you promise to be brave whenever you are afraid, then I promise to do the same, and we both will achieve everything we set our minds to.

On Two Months

On Two Months

Reags, I promise I won’t post something about you every month. Today you are two months old, and as cliché as it is to say “how much you’ve grown” in that short amount of time, it doesn’t make it any less true. After the first month, you were still this tiny, delicate thing that just kind of ate, pooped, and slept. Now, you are a bigger, stronger, slightly less tiny thing that still mostly eats, poops, and sleeps.

Speaking of sleep, last night you slept the longest you over have! I think it was probably 7 hours in between feedings. Your mom and I didn’t know what to do. We woke up after six hours or so, and weren’t sure if we were supposed to wake you up to feed you, or let you sleep. We decided to let you sleep, and 30 minutes later, we woke up and had the same conversation. Finally, after seven hours, you woke up enough to feed, then fell right back asleep. Your mom just texted me as I’m writing this and told me you’re still sleeping! C-H-A-M-P!

Things you like

Baths – no matter how upset or frustrated you are, once you get in the bath, you are a happy, naked dude

Bouncing on your ball/chair – actually, you love being held while your mom or I bounce you on your ball. You also love your bounce chair. When all else fails, bounce!

Letters from your GM – about every week or two, your GM writes you a letter that you are saving for a scrapbook. You might not know you love it yet, but you will

Kicking feet – whether you are in your chair or on your back in your play gym, you love kicking your feet

Dancing to Dad’s music – nothing against John Legend, Justin Timberlake, or Beyoncé (God forbid), but when you and I put on Bob Dylan or The Wood Brothers and dance around, you seem to enjoy yourself

Things we need to work on

Relationship with Rogue – I think you two like each other, but we need to work on calming him down when you get upset. Don’t worry, your mom and I have a plan

Nighttime routine – once you go to sleep, you’re out. But your mom and I would love it if it didn’t take two hours for you to get there

Other than that, you’re pretty perfect for two months, little man. You keep growing and staying healthy, and your mom and I will keep doing everything we can to keep you happy, healthy, and smothered in love.

04-04-18

 

On your Grandmother

On your Grandmother

There will be a lot of people who will be a part of your life. Your mother and I will probably be the most important, at least until you meet a girl, fall in love, and make a little blog like this one of your own. But your GM Whitt will be one of the most important people in your life, because she has been one of the most important people in my life.

You are lucky enough to have many grandmas and grandpas, and all of them will love you like crazy from now until forever. And I will talk about all of them at some point so you know where you came from and understand all the people who love you and who will shape your life.

But this is about your GM Whitt, and it’s no coincidence that this is being posted on her birthday. She is one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. She is one of six children, and had to take on a lot of responsibilities helping to raise her brothers and sisters when she was just a kid herself. She has always wanted the best for herself and for her family, and you are so lucky that she will want the best for you, and she will show you how to get the best out of yourself.

You won’t meet anyone as committed as your GM Whitt. When I was younger, she sat through double-header baseball games, sometimes with your uncle Tyler and/or Aunt Paige when they were babies just so she could watch me play. She was able to move your uncle Jordan and I to Florida and get us acclimated to a new state and new school and new friends, all while going to school for he PA degree. She was bettering our lives by taking on so much, and she did it while still making sure we were having fun and having a childhood.

Your GM Whitt is super funny, too. I think she learned how to be funny from me, aka her favorite child. I think that means that since I am her favorite child, and you are my favorite child, the transitive property says you are the favorite grandchild (sorry McKinley and Cora!). She has a great sense of humor and, no pun intended, has more wit than anyone else. She can be sarcastic and caring at the same time, and she knows how to make everybody feel included, loved, and welcome wherever she goes.

Everyone’s age changes on their birthday, but your GM Whitt changes age differently than most. Last year she was 37, and this year she’s 43. It’s kind of a “wake up and see how old you feel” kind of thing for her most years, but she always looks years younger than whatever age she thinks she is every year.

I hesitate to say this, but your GM Whitt will give you anything you want. If you tell her you want to see the Pacific Ocean, she will book the two of you a trip in a week to fly out and book a hotel right on the water so you would wake up and it would be the first thing you saw. She writes letters to you and your cousins every week and mails them to you because she wants you to feel loved at all times. I hope that the two of you develop a special relationship and you let her take you on all kinds of exciting adventures like she did with me when I was young. She’s even taking you to England this fall for your first big adventure!

So be sure to tell your GM Whitt that you love her as often as you have the chance. Draw her a picture and pick her flowers and tell her that she’s pretty whenever you can. Find something that is special to the two of you. Make as many memories as you can with her, because those will be the best memories. Snuggle on her and sing to her and make her feel as special as she is whenever you can, because she will do all those things for you, plus so much more.

02-27-18

 

The First Letter to my Son

I remember being in high school and having notebooks full of poetry. One of the poems I wrote was titled “To my Son,” and for the life of me, I can’t remember what it said. The point is, I think I’ve always known I was going to have a son. I think there are a lot of things I feel like I am supposed to teach you and make up for some of the things I missed out on growing up. I know we will have a lot of time to talk about anything and everything as you grow up, but there are a few things I want you to know before you arrive.

You have a lot to live up to. Your mother is an amazing person who will love you more than you will ever understand. Her love will test you, but that is something that will only make you the best version of yourself. She will expect great things from you, as will I, and she will teach you how to get the most out of yourself. She is many other things that I’m sure will come up later, but for now, just know that you have to be nice to her because she loves you more than anyone in the world.

Selfishly, I want you to be a lot like me. I want you to like the things that I like, and think the way that I think (your mother would probably disagree, but you’ll find that to be the case sometimes). I am probably going to try to teach you things that you already know, or don’t think are very important. But if there are three things I can convince you are important so that you can be the best version of yourself that you can be, it is to be confident, considerate, and reliable.

Be confident with girls, sports, school, business, friendships, and hobbies. Do not let doubt or fear keep you from trying new things and allow yourself to fail if it means that you will try again. Confidence will take you places that you want to go, and will open doors that might not otherwise be open.

But also be considerate. Always consider the angles, whether that is someone else’s feelings, or another way to solve a problem. Being considerate means thinking through things and determining the best way to do something. Consider others when you can and make someone else smile.

Finally, be reliable. Be reliable to yourself and to others, especially your family and friends. When you say you will do something, make sure you do it. Being reliable also means being honest, which is something that is earned, not given. It’s a powerful thing when you can say something and see it through; when someone can ask you something and have confidence that if you say you will, then you will.

The last, and most important, thing you have to do in life is to do whatever it is that makes you happy (it’s our unofficial family motto). Do not let anyone else let you think that what makes you happy isn’t important. You will be tested often on this, but if you are true to who you are and don’t let things other people say affect how you think, then you will live a happy life.

Just know that whatever you do in life will make your mother and I proud, and that you will be loved. I can’t wait to meet you and to remind you of all the reasons you are so special.

Three Things to Remember

  • Be nice to your mother, because you will forever be her favorite thing in the world
  • Be confident, considerate, and reliable
  • Do what makes you happy

01-16-18