On No No No

Son,

Lately, you’ve been doing this thing that I think you got from me and I think I got it from my mom.

momma.gif

But anytime you trip, or fall, or something bonks into you, or you just decide you’re mad at one of your toys, you shake your finger at it and say, “no no no!” It’s the funniest thing in the world because your mom and I see it coming from a mile away. We’ll see you running across the living room, and you trip on the rug and fall down. Sure enough, after a two second, hurt-but-not-hurt cry, you stand up, turn around, and “no no no” the rug. Nevermind you ran into something that literally just sits in the same place ALWAYS, but shame on that carpet for tripping you.

The other funny thing about it is the way that you say it. There are two ways. The first is when your little inflection kind of raises up with each “no.” The first no starts at a mid-range note, and jumps to a higher octave by the last “no,” which also drags out for an extra beat or two.

“no no nuuuuw.”

The second way you do it is with more of a stern, “I’m talking down to you” tone. In a way that you’d tell a dog (not your dog, though) “bad dog!” You furrow your little brow and look down at whatever it is, and kind of “nuh-nuh-nuh.”

The first way is kind of a warning shot, and the second one comes into play when you mean business.

Look how sad your dog looks when he gets the business end of your “no no no.”

The rub comes in when you run into Rogue and try to “no no no” him. Or worse yet, you “no no no” your mom or I when you are in a mood.

That, homie, is crossing the line.

And I recognize that we created this monster. I also recognize that we feed this monster when we laugh at you shaming the rug, or the water for rushing from the straw into your mouth too fast and causing you to choke. It’s like, slow your roll, water, I like you but I don’t LIKE YOU LIKE YOU.

I tell you all the time, but you are such a funny kid. I can’t remember where we were recently, but you said “HI!” to every single person who walked past you. I think we might have been out to dinner, and you will look at someone two tables away and yell “HI!” to them. Your mom and I talked about it, and while you make most people’s days a little bit brighter, someone might want to just be in their own space.

So, I guess, recognize that cuteness and funniness have times and places. The right time is most of the time, but not all the time. Ya dig?

Love you, buddy.

Dad

 

Author: ryanjrauch

I am not here to change the world. I am here to change my world.

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